As you know, Rudyard is currently on notice in my book. I’m not sure what to make of the fact that he is likely to be our next president.
Our university is at a cross-roads now. The changes that Rudyard will bring to the higher administrative offices here will have huge ramifications.
Women and minorities
For example, the wonderful way women and minorities are treated here might change. Currently, we give minorities and people from other cultures the opportunity to become happy like us. (Sadly, they often don’t appreciate this opportunity and waste it by hanging on to their primitive cultures.)
Currently, we give good-looking women lots of opportunities to be around and promote the University using their feminine skills.
Due in part to the selectiveness of our hiring process, we seldom have problems with women who are unhappy in their role. This situation is much better at the Seminary than at the College. The College has a lot of women and minorities in leadership positions and this has the disruptive effects that you would expect. But there are enough men and whites in leadership here at the College to keep things running smoothly.
Our administrators and staff are well known for doing an excellent job screening and placing women candidates for staff positions and making sure they are comfortable in their roles there.
They know the differences between men and women and treat women in the way we know they like to be treated. They also understand that women’s mood swings are not the result of being treated badly (as they sometimes imagine) but are due to their gender. We are very sensitive and aware of these differences.
There are others who spread discontent by saying nonsensical things like, “women and men are exactly alike in every way” when the biological differences are so obvious. Or they say, “other cultures are just as good as ours” when everyone knows that we don’t have a culture: we are Christians.
The winner of the battle between those working to maintain the good and those working to bring our downfall might be determined by the people the new president appoints to high leadership positions.
Papa Bear
What will Rudyard do with Dean Papa Bear? Rumor has it that Papa Bear might be promoted to the President’s right-hand-man. This has its advantages and disadvantages. On the good side, Papa Bear will be recognized for hard work. On the negative side, Papa Bear will be removed from the day-to-day interactions with faculty. We can only hope that he would be replaced with a man with the same people skills.
Provost
Rumors are flying about who will be the next Provost if Rudyard becomes President. Some say that my hermeneutical hero might take that position. This has only upsides. On various committees over which he has been head, he has shown himself to be a real decider. When he wants a discussion to end, he announces his decision and says that “this discussion is over”. This is leadership quality. And I don’t need to tell you how important it is for leaders to know which parts of a sentence in the Bible transcend culture and which don’t.
Furthermore, as Provost he would represent the faculty to the administration and vice-versa. This is another area in which he excels. Previously, when in the role of intermediary he has done an excellent job of keeping the two parties he is representing completely apart from one another and carefully communicating from one party to another the issues that he decides are important. If it weren’t for intermediaries like him, the two parties would each have to sort through lots of other information to understand one another. They might become distracted by something unimportant to my hermeneutical hero.
But darker rumors float around as well. Some say that the new Provost should have a seminary degree. My hermeneutical hero qualifies but others do as well: the sole full-time female faculty at the seminary. Yes, I saw that shudder run down your spine. She is indeed one of the biggest problems the Seminary has. She is possibly the highest ranking female at the Seminary (at the rank of Associate Academic Dean) and she’s not grateful. She is now the only full-time female professor on the campus, and she is not thankful. No, in spite of all of the hate mail and threats she gets, in spite of all the generosity she has been shown by the men who allowed her to take the position she has, she wants to have even a higher rank. Sick. That’s gratitude for you! (I meant that ironically.)
Other important positions
Our university is also hiring a new Campus Pastor and Assistant Campus Pastor. Rudyard has hand-picked three Campus Pastors in the past three years. All proved themselves excellent in the very short time each was here.
The most recent one left because of the coming change in our alcohol policy. While I can’t blame him for leaving, I’ve decided to stay and try to work from inside the organization as long as I can last. I know scripture teaches us not to associate with evil folks and I will keep that in mind if it gets much more liberal.
I will keep you up to date as news comes out.
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