You heard it here first
Patting myself on the back
Well, folks, you heard it here first. I predicted that Merely Reconciler would present the only non-white-male on his secret committee as the front line in dealing with the GLBT issues on campus. Well, it happened. They set up two panels, each with the same panelists, one panel addressing faculty and staff and one panel addressing students.
The moderator of these panels was the African-American woman who is our new chaplain and the only member of that committee who is not a white man.
All on the same page
The panelists were president Rudyard, provost Merely Reconciler, and dean of students Gimli.
At the forum for faculty and staff, each of those three spoke for five or ten minutes then the chaplain opened it up for questions.
Rudyard spoke first. He said that not so long ago, the church lined its culture up more closely with the Bible than we do today on the topics of slavery and the role of women. Back in the days when the church had a more biblical culture, they had it wrong, according to Rudyard.
Merely Reconciler spoke next. He said that we are “people of the book”, that our culture “takes its cue from scripture” and that our culture (that is, the culture of our denomination) is completely biblical. He also said that our stance toward people with same-sex attraction or other gender issues—i.e., people whom the Bible says should be stoned to death—is that we are “welcoming but not affirming.”
Gimli spoke last. She said that we do not and should not do anything to welcome people with same sex attraction and that such people should not feel comfortable here.
One of the purposes of this panel was to help all of the faculty and staff have more clarity about what the truth is on this issue. The panel very effectively ensured that we were all on the same page.
The best question
There were some questions from gay-sympathizers but the most interesting question was from my English hero. He spoke for quite a while about the frightening and powerful gay agenda. He mentioned how it was infiltrating some protestant denominations so much that gay people were permitted to breathe in some churches almost as freely as straight white men breathe at our University. (I think he must have been exaggerating but it is a justified use of the literary device of hyperbole: one can never be too afraid of the gay agenda.) He mentioned that there were rainbow colors on the “safe place” signs which proved that the gay agenda was already a powerful force on our campus. His use of language was so eloquent that one got an image of students glancing at the rainbow colors and immediately sodomizing the next person they saw.
But his main point was that straight white men at our University are under attack. We are a persecuted, oppressed minority. We have all the power but someone else is threatening to breathe in our presence without our permission! He tugged on our heart-strings and I think some people hearing the plight of straight white men at our University were in tears. He referred to this group as “those of us who believe in biblical sexuality”. It is us who are being threatened.
It’s true. Now, it is also true that we do not regularly hear of people who are suspected of believing in biblical sexuality being murdered for it. We don’t often hear about people who believe in biblical sexuality committing suicide because of the incredible pressure that the culture puts on us. It’s true that you cannot be expelled from any institution in the country or be discriminated against in any way for holding biblical sexual values. But my English hero has such a way with words that he makes it feel that way! The fact that the liberals can hear about how bad life is for us believers in biblical sexuality and not shed a tear or stand up and fight for us shows their hypocrisy.
Finally, his question was directed at faculty who had signs up. “What are you going to do to allay our fears? And please answer the question without using the term ‘homophobic’ because I don’t like that word.”
Why anyone would use the word ‘homophobic’ in response to his legitimate terror at the power of the gay agenda is beyond me.
Biblical Sexuality
I love that he referred to us normal people as “people who believe in biblical sexuality”. If my English hero’s wife were raped and no one heard her scream, he would certainly put her to death. If his unmarried daughter were raped, there is no doubt in my mind that he would force her to marry the rapist with no chance for divorce under any circumstances. I’m sure neither his wife nor daughter have ever cut their hair since the same writer (Paul) who said that homosexual sex was against nature also said that women cutting their hair was against nature. I’m with him on this. Let’s stick to what the Bible says about sex, marriage and gender.
Introducing Gimli
I’ve never mentioned Gimli before. She is our new dean of students. She is short and stout with close-cropped hair and a very Germanic face.
If you walk into her office, you will immediately notice the many books on the wall on the topic of how to overcome your homosexuality with the help of Jesus. This is a topic that is apparently very near to her heart. If she has read all those books, then she is a qualified expert on the topic.
The panel for students
The panel for students was held in the new dining center. The new dining center has a second level that surrounds and looks down on the main level. Diners can ascend a stairway and eat on the higher level.
The panel and students (some estimated two hundred) were on the lower level. On the upper level—closer to heaven—were three women: the wives of Rudyard and Merely Reconciler and a third woman who presumably represented Gimli. These women were looking down from above praying for their loved ones down below.
The three speakers spoke a good bit longer this time and there was less time for questions.
Gimli was more personable this time—she is the dean of students after all. She talked about her lesbian neighbors and how well she gets along with them. But she didn’t allow her familiarity with the enemy to water down the truth. She said that people with same-sex attraction should remain celibate. In order to show, I suppose, that being celibate is not so unusual, she immediately added that she was celibate.
Problem with befriending homosexuals
I actually have a problem with the fact that Gimli is so close to her lesbian neighbors. Think of what may happen if she showed them unconditional love and forgiveness. (I’m sure Gimli is too good a Christian for that but this is a warning for others.) What if the lesbians, these sinful women, were so grateful to Gimli for her love that one of these sinful women actually came onto campus during some event in order to show her gratitude? What if Gimli’s unconditional love and forgiveness so emboldened them that they came into the presence of us righteous people?
Well, we would see this and say, “If Gimli were really a spiritual person, she would know that these are sinners showing this gratitude.” Of course this would be very embarrassing for Gimli. She would have to come up with some bogus excuse like “those who are forgiven much love much” or some such nonsense.
Anyway, the point is, don’t treat sinners with unconditional love and forgiveness. Their gratitude might be unseemly. Plus, it is anti-Christ.
That’s all I have to report at the moment. I will certainly keep you posted as our University works to fight against the terror that is the gay agenda. Please pray for us persecuted straight white men at our University. The threat of people who are not like us being permitted to breathe in our presence is growing.
Leave a Comment